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If Buses Could Talk?


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Zum 1050: Why'm I wearin' red and my cousins wearing blue and red?

Brampton Transit 0215: Dude, we belong to the same transit agency. It's 'cuz you're doing rapid transit duty and we're assigned to regular stuff. Just like the TTC's subway trains and surface vehicles.

TTC H6 5890: That's 'cuz it costs too much for the TTC to paint us subway trains just like our surface cousins.

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Translink artic trolley 2505: why am I on the 19??? Only the youngster trolleys do this!

2181: just shut up and drive you and your tail end to metro!

2505 at metrotown loop: oh god I feel out of place! The only artics are from Richmond doing the 49! Gah I'm surrounded by rattleboxes!

Nova's parked at layover bays: hey shut up! Least we don't need to stay on the wire unlike you, you glorified bus with forks on top!

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FYI the show on Discovery Channel that inspired this will air Thursday (Discovery Channel) 1:00 pm Eastern time.

(The Provost highway coach the crew at Breaking Point ran off the cliff): What the hell? (Stops short of the edge)

(As the cliff gives way): No no no no NO! {crash}

(Oblitory Family Guy clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACW_qNDtqFA...feature=related )

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YRT 2054: Boy, I narrowly dodged retirement!

1009: You lived only because your cousin 2064 suffered a major suspension failure. Your days are numbered.

403: Hey, Gramps doesn't get out much anyway. He's the only bus that isn't accessible.

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(2345, 2316, and 2855 at Mount Dennis)

2345: It looks like we're coming to the end

2855: We've had a good run.

2316: We've outlasted several buses.

2855: Yeah: The '85 D901s, the D40 High Floors, both diesel and CNG models of the 1991 batch of Orion 5s, even our younger cousins the Classics and the Orion 6s!

(6221 from over the wall): Hey! I heard that!

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-A TTC hybrid has just broken down and been towed to Mount Dennis Garage, where New Look 2316 is being prepared for service-

2316: I see you broke down again, eh?

Hybrid: What the hell do you mean by "again"...?!

2316: Trying to weasel your way out of work again. You're unreliable pieces of crap. Why do you think 52 of us got a life extension rebuild?

Hybrid: Oh, dear God, not this again...

Listen carefully, gramps, your time is up. You have cheated death multiple times since coming into service, but not this time. You're being replaced by new buses. Newer buses. Better buses.

2316: Better, eh? Just because they're diesels instead of hybrids doesn't make them better. They'll be better when they've served Toronto faithfully for 52 years, and when they're loved by transit fans as much as they love us. We all know that will never happen.

Other New Looks, and the Classics, around the garage, behind the wall or not, go "OOOOOOH!" loudly, while the hybrid blows another gasket.

2316 drives off, feeling smug.

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GRT 2303 and 21216

2303:UGH! THEY DIDNT GIVE ME A OIL CHANGE.-breaks down-

21216 MOVE OUTTA THE WAY.

2303: I CANT!

21216 -drives into 201 stop-

2303 -relaxes waiting for the tow truck-

GRT 21303 and 9400

9400 Im OLDEST Bus in renevue service

21303 NEWEST Here

9400 -hits a bump- OW OW OW OW

21303 If you could get 9402 to vibrate more I would be better off with driving

9400 I just want to retire and tan

BusesRock: Tan means rust and your 19 years old

21303: What about me?

BusesRock: Your the newbie and you need to get used to being a XD40

WOOSH 1985: -comes flying by:

9400: OW OW OW

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GRT 21216,2205,9403,21325 and 2610

3:30am

9403: :( Im the only one awake!

2205 -wakes up- AAAAAAHHHHHHH!

9403: -pats back- Night terrors again?!

21216: -snores very loud-

2610: HAVING A BEAUTY SLEEP AS BEING A 2006 MODEL HELLO?!

9403 Go back to sleep then

2610: FINE!

21325: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........

The following day

9403: -starts up and drives off-

2205: -sleeps-

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Heres a story of 964 and 1995 D40LFs at OTC when 981 come in. :rolleyes:

964: What the heck are you doing here?

981: West Van made me go here.

964: For what?

981: They said I have premature corrosion.

964: Look, you're a 98. we're a 95. We're the ones to be retired.

981: I know! Wait--Where are your brothers?

964: They went to Saskatchewan.

981: really...

953: Im still here.

964: (turns to 953) that's because ur not picked up yet, idiot! (turns back to 981) Just ignore 953, he can be really fussy after retirement.

981: Oh..

964: Well, Im heading to West Van now!

981: Wait--I thought you're retired.

964: West Van gave me another chance! I hope you wont be like 966.

981: why?

964: Let's just say he's crushed by a radioactive lizard and scrapped.

981: WTF?!

964: Well, good luck on your stay.

981 was feeling scared of being scrapped.

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